I can't stop loving you both
by mewmewramazika
Summary: Takes place between DAO and DAO:A, how my life would have probably been if I were an elven Warden after the Blight and after Alistair becomes king. Rated T.


Alistair had told me over and over again that he never wanted to become king, but when it came down to the throne or me . . . He chose Fereldan, he asked me to be his queen, but I knew, no one would be pleased if there was an elf up that high in the world, so I broken heartily refused him. He told me that his offer would always stand, at any time I could come to him and tell him I was ready to be his queen and he would take me without any questions. Soon after he told me this, I left him, going off to find more Grey Wardens to protect Fereldan from any future Blights, with Zervran by my side the whole time.

Finding recruits had been easier than I thought it would have been a lot of people where more than happy to throw their lives away to protect everyone else after seeing the danger of the Blight, which I had stopped. I kept close to Grey Warden camps, only venturing far enough to check Chanter's Boards and other small villages to make sure there was peace, each place I went, Zevran followed, even after I told him his duties were over. The more we traveled the more and more I let myself open up to him until I took his offer to once again return to his tent, for a brief while we had, had something between us while I was with Alistair but that had been short lived.

I had vowed to never return to Denirum unless I really had to, and one day when I was traveling, Sten found Zervran and me, he asked us to take him to Denirum, he had important business with Alistair about the well being of a group of his people in Kirkwall, he said it was urgent and could stop a war, without little choice I decided that we would take him, and that's where the story unfolds.

"I can take him to Denirum," Zevran told me, as I glanced back at him from where I stood, "I have heard something's that may or may have not happened inside that palace over the years. . . I don't want you getting hurt if we go back."

I gave him a weak smile, "A few rumors aren't about to stop me from helping Sten and the Qunari, they need our help, so I'm going to help them." I told him, hating my need to help people.

He watched me a moment, his brown eyes watching me before he slowly nodded, he then walked up to me and put a light hand under my chin, tilting it up to look at me, "Alright, then I shall stand by you," He told me, I could feel his hot breath against my face, he then leaned down and left a kiss against my lips.

Sten cleared his throat loudly, "We should get moving," He said, sounding rather grumpy, "We're wasting day light."

"Work, work, no play!" Zevran said with a sigh before he laughed and shook his head, "Let's go then."

I rolled my eyes at the two of them before I started walking once more, leading the two men towards Denirum and out of the comfort of camp.

Camp wasn't too far from Denirum, and the trip was uneventful, so it only took us a few days to get there, but long enough to have me wishing that the Griffens wouldn't have gone extinct so Grey Wardens could still ride them around, my poor feet would have liked that a lot more than walking.

I sighed when we got through all the gates outside of the palace and were lead to the dining room by a servant elf to wait for Alistair there. I frowned each time I saw an elf, it made me want to break down and cry, to see even after Alistair had took over the castle and his romance history with me, that elves were still used as servants and slaves all over the place.

I played with my ears, rubbing my thumb against the point of my left one as I glanced around until Zevran noticed and stopped me,

holding my hand a moment, "Calm down." He whispered into my ear, before he let go of my hand, giving me a gentle smile.

It seemed to take a few hours for him to get there, it felt so strange, standing there waiting for the man I still loved after all my long nights with the handsome Antivan elf that was standing by me, I knew Zevran knew that I still loved Alistair, I think sometimes he even was hurt over the fact, but he never let me know when it bothered him.

As we stood there, many people passed through, before there was finally the sound of a throat being cleared from behind us. Zevran passed me a look, before I slowly turned around. He looked almost the same way I had always remembered him, his dirty blond hair and dark brown eyes, and charming face, I could almost hear my heart cry at the sight of him, when I got enough of my senses back, I realized that he too was staring at me, admiration in his eyes. From the corner of my eye, I saw Zevran frown.

We all stood there a few moments before Sten finally spoke and broke the unsteady silence, "The Qun are in need of your help," He told Alistair, who looked to him, "May we speak somewhere a bit more private?"

Alistair nodded, "Of course," He finally spoke, my heart beating just a bit quicker, before his eyes went to me, "I hope you'll stay," He told me, quietly, "So we can all catch up." He then glanced to Zevran before he turned his attention back to Sten, "Come this way." He told him, before leading him out of the room.

With those words said, they both walked out of the room and left Zevran and me standing there alone.

Zevran sighed loudly and looked to me a moment before he stepped to my side and grabbed my hand tightly; I could tell if it was to comfort me or to show anyone who walked in I belonged to him.

I glanced at him a few moments before I turned to him and set one of my hands against his chest, running my fingers along his leather armor before I pressed up against him and kissed him deeply on the lips, so he'd get the point he wasn't losing me.

He kissed me back without hesitation, wrapping his arms around my waist as he pulled me closer up against him. His lips were almost forceful against mine, something I wasn't used to.

I shoved him back just a bit and he frowned before I softly stroked his cheek, "Zev," I said softly as I watched him, "Stop. You know you have nothing to worry about."

"I can't help it," The Antivan elf I had learned to love replied, "I can remember the way you used to look at each other in camp, the smile you had when he would steal a kiss from you, you had something different with him, what you do not with me."

Hesitantly, I reached out and softly set my hand against his cheek, "Zevran," I said, softly, "I love you. You've always been here for me."


End file.
